The question of disobedience occurs in almost every family. And it is very important to know how to behave correctly in order not to spoil relations with the child, but to solve the problem.
The question «please tell me» — 3 answer
Surely every parent faced with a situation of disobedience and called my child naughty. This problem undoubtedly is of concern to all. The more that want to love and be proud of your offspring, to live in peace and harmony, to be a friend, support him, not to curse and to punish. So, try to figure out how to be.
The basic principles of education:
1. The main in the family the parents, not the child.
In no case should not be a democracy, where the baby is placed on an equal footing with mum and dad — you and the parents, to teach and to help. Yes, when your child is not little anymore is the question, for example, admission to College and future life, it is possible to listen to his opinion (after all, this is an important step in HIS life), but the last word should always be yours.
2.Both parents must be at the same time.
This is very important and explanation is not required.
3. No, it means no.
The word no should be rare, but it should be given special attention — for example, it should be the real threat to the child or in exceptional cases. In situations where a child simply wants to take your journal, better to say for example: «ay, why you want it?» and to shift attention to something interesting. Otherwise, the child will hear «No»constantly, and cease to react to it. And most importantly — if you said no, but you have to be principled and to stand your ground and not change your mind in 5 minutes, even if you see a screaming and tears (just go away and don’t react), otherwise your child will cease to treat your words seriously.
4. No — not ever.
If you said no today that is impossible, for example, to take a phone — so any other day it is also impossible to take — always!
Important rules of parenting:
1. If education consider the development and age of the child.
2. The reasonableness of your demands.
Not have the slightest disobedience, to leave the child hungry, for example.
3. The degree of punishment should fit the crime and be timely.
If a child accidentally spilled something, it is not necessary to flog. Or if the child is naughty in the morning, no need to deprive him of his cartoons in the evening — the punishment must go at once.
4. You need to be calm before the punishment.
If you feel too angry, take any measures to calm down (go on the air in another room, on the balcony, take a few calm breaths), and only then take a decision.
5. Put yourself in the place of the child and think about how to talk and how to act.
6. Don’t yell — calm voice is always perceived better, and a rare shout out in critical situations will be treated with special importance.
7. Talk in plain language.
8. If the child threw a tantrum (thus the child tries to control you) — don’t react and move away from the baby, be calm and assertive, and when he calms down walk up to him. Thus he will understand that his screaming leads to nothing, but if he is silent — you are next.
9. If the child throwing something — in any case do not bring it back, but rather clean. No need to bring the principle — anything, just be silent. And so the child will understand that if he is thrown, the thing was gone, and cease to do it.
10. Always be an example.
If you fight for what that child spends in front of TV and do the same thing — it’s absolutely impractical.
11. Be prepared to dialogue and discussion.
12. In some dangerous situations, keep silent and see what the situation is over — let your child know that you do not need.
13. Encourage good and bad no. You don’t treat good, for granted. The child must feel good to be nice.
14. If you want to compare for educational purposes, we compare the behavior, not people. For example, don’t say you don’t behave like Peter — it’s right to say Peter was a dirty trick and now will be punished — you don’t want as well.
15.Find the causes and analyze why a child behaves.
Consider the above and I hope that you will learn how to educate your favorite child. And the main thing — nurture, not as you want it, and how to be good and useful for him — no need, for example, to make the boy mother’s son — grow a good, loving son and a real man. Love and kindness your family!