Communication and cooperative play between children is not always serene and joyful. Parents often witness violent conflicts, trials and even fights. The first impulse is to take matters into their own hands and by any means to settle a quarrel, but when more sober reflection any loving parent will understand that the situation cannot resolve a need for more meaningful and in-depth approach. Fathers and mothers know how to resolve a conflict between children, if he have any, and in what situations it is better not to intervene.
Children’s conflicts are different in that they serve as a way of understanding the world and the ability to present yourself well. Through trial and error little children trying to understand and find their place in life and society. At first all this happens unconsciously and intuitively. Parents have to decide how seriously to treat the conflict between the children so from a very early age to lay in the child the ability to communicate and solve differences.
What should parents do when children quarrel
Don’t need to believe that all grievances and quarrels between kids resolve themselves. Children are so open-minded show your emotions that are not able to control them without the help of parents. But if the adult’s responsibility to raise independent and sane person, who is able to behave in collective intervention in a child’s game should be quite tactful and not to bear a psychological threat. There are a few key points that you should pay attention to when resolving conflicts between children.
1. The lack of objectivity – this is the main reason that can induce an adult to make wrong conclusions. Learn how to move away from the world of their own likes and dislikes, do not treat the kid a little worse just because you think a bully or a prankster.
2. The issue of personal space may even adults to breed on different sides of the barricades. Teach your children since the early days to respect for others and their own territory. This applies to everything: your personal area, toys, things, utensils (if it is accepted in the family). However, the concept of ownership does not mean that you cannot take someone else’s toys or to give to another. Children need from an early age to teach kindness, solidarity, to develop in them a desire to do something good for another, and free of charge. Conflicts that develop in the soil «won’t give — give», it is necessary to suppress noise. Sometimes it is helpful to distract children from the division of property, and later to discuss with them this issue.
3. Do not underestimate your children. Many of the conflicts they successfully decide for themselves. Sometimes it is helpful to become an observer and not to interfere in the development of events (we are talking only about situations that do not threaten the moral and physical health). If the quarrel escalates, you can safely ask whether the kids help. Usually they ask for a foreign intervention by adults complaints and tears, or, conversely, prefer to allow themselves.
How adults can resolve conflicts between children
In any case, the task of parents is to teach children to cope with life’s troubles and discontent about what is happening. And this should be done while they are small, and the authority of the adult is still quite high.
Ideally, during children’s proceedings and disputes adults should remain passive intermediaries, which his deliberate words direct children’s emotions in the right direction.
1. Open kids eyes to what is happening in their noisy company. Let everyone will describe the situation as he sees it. Often innocent taunts and insults can be a psychological trauma for a lifetime, and with timely intervention from adults this can be avoided.
2. Give children the key to solving the problem, even each will offer their own version of conflict resolution. If the output of the joint efforts cannot be found, safely say that the game is over, but if the kids are interested in its continuation, we should come to a reasonable compromise, for example, to give each other.
3. Invite the children to set new rules that will help avoid problems in the future. If you managed to solve jointly the conflict, secure the result, be sure to praise the contribution of each child in the success of the business.
Remember to impressionable kids: in moments of violent conflict change their emotion to something else — no less vivid and impressionable. Later, when the heat cools off, look back and discuss the issue that took place some time ago. Don’t let it go, pretend nothing happened.
To resolve a conflict between children, understand each child, take a look at the world through his eyes, remember their childhood, do not disregard her tears and reproaches, because the vulnerability of the child’s soul leaves its trace on all life.
Look at the actions of kids. All that they know and can do, we present them with themselves, and if the behavior you have something troubling, you should look, maybe it’s just a response of your own behavior.
And last but most important: give the children the feeling that they command. Let naprokaznichala, get up to mischief, but if you feel that this moment between them was born the unity, back. Even though they are a little you overstepped, but the fact that the children want to enjoy most.