To experience betrayal is very difficult. Betrayal hard and long farewell, as the making process often takes longer than the process of understanding and forgiveness. The fact that the treachery towards us most likely to commit loved ones or important people, trust is undermined, the best feeling subjected to desecration, the world no longer seems safe, and is very difficult to get out.
How to survive a betrayal and as far as possible to restore confidence to the environment, we will discuss in this article.
The process of making
People until recently did not want to realize that they have been betrayed. We are looking for causes, we are looking for explanations. It is associated with numerous attempts to «clarify the relationship» — it seems that as soon as he gets some kind of rational explanation for why he had been betrayed, everything will fall into place. And, actually, the explanation is there. Yes and they would sound pretty ridiculous: «I gave(a) you because…» and then point by point.
Betrayal is just betrayal
Some people find it easier to blame ourselves, someone «leaves» on anger and plans for revenge, someone easier to complain about the fate of all who would listen, someone is trying to immerse oneself in work or «replace» with something else: a new relationship, food, inclusive, the extreme. Each person has their own way to cope with negative emotions, the most important thing here to know that this is the way to spravleniya, a temporary measure, not a solution.
The process of forgiveness
Many misunderstand the word «forgiveness». Not necessarily, if you forgive a person, to continue some kind of relationship, not necessarily to trust him as before, and pretend that nothing is wrong between you has never been. To forgive is not for the offender, to forgive is for you.
Concealed unexamined resentments, as you know, destroy the person at all levels: begin psychosomatic diseases, neuroses, damage interpersonal communication, simply put, you’re moving away from friends, buddies and relatives. No traitor is not worth the.
In order to forgive and let go of the problem, need, first, to recognize that it is there (process of adoption) that you are the problem not the blame game, find support and try not earning your abuser anything, to say to yourself that Yes, it was, has come and gone. The experience was painful, but useful. Here would be a good idea to really think about what was useful from this experience. You become stronger, you become wiser, you don’t want to allow this situation to affect your life. You let go of this situation and, with it, the person who created it.