How to establish a trust relationship with the child

Each parent usually asks this question, but often, this occurs too late to regain the trust requires a lot of effort and patience. Therefore, it is best not to make mistakes in the early stages and to follow the rules that will help you to establish warm and trusting relationships and will contribute to the harmonious development and mental health of your baby.

Как установить доверительные отношения с ребенком

1) Be a friend to your child. You must give the child to feel that you are always ready to communicate. The baby is very important to feel that there is someone you can always trust your alarm, and just to tell that interesting happened to him during the day. He will feel safe if you know that you are always at the right time with due consideration to hear him out. In addition, do not forget to show the child their trust, share secrets, and ask for his opinion on a particular account.

2) Respect the child’s feelings. No matter how insignificant and unfounded may seem to the experiences and problems of the child, which he shares with you, you should not laugh or belittle his feelings and fears. Take seriously all his difficulties, and help to cope with them. The child will have to feel it to understand, and that subsequently he can count on your support and assistance.

3) Joint pastime. Locate the public activities with your kid, ask him to help you in cooking or cleaning, tell them that without it you can not handle, let him feel the need. Conversely, take the initiative to help him in his business. As possible as often as possible play and take walks together.

4) Follow through on your promises. Do not give those promises that you will not be able to perform. Otherwise, the child will feel resentment and frustration, and such systematic situation will undermine trust and your credibility in the eyes of a child. Giving the promise, it is better to stipulate some conditions, for example, that your Sunday trip to the Park depends not only on you but also on weather conditions.

5) And finally, most importantly in establishing a trusting relationship with the child to be guided by one basic rule that is called unconditional acceptance. Of course to adopt a child is to accept all its advantages and disadvantages, to love him not because he is obedient or talented, but simply for what it is. How often, parents do not hesitate to use the following address to children: «If you’ll be quiet, I will love you», «don’t come near me until you cleaned the room», but using these phrases to the child directly States that it is taken conditionally, that he will love only if…

Besides, some of our conditions can be overwhelming for a child, and what then, good-bye parental love? Not that the child felt the fragility of your love, he must somehow deserve it, that he do something wrong, you can Rob so he needed feelings. Scientists have proved that the need for love is one of the fundamental human needs and its satisfaction is a precondition for harmonious development of the child. This need finds satisfaction in the gentle touches, the approving glances, the affectionate appeal: «it’s good that you’re born», «I am happy when we are together», «I love when you’re home».

You might think: «How will I be kind to him, if he hasn’t learned the lessons/have not received excellent marks/not cleaned the house?» Dare to assume that most likely your issue is caused by the belief: «First discipline, and then a good attitude». But here’s the paradox, this position is no good results, the more we scold the child, the more uncontrollable he becomes, and in response to the criticism, disapproval and accusations, you get predictable resistance, excuses and bickering. Why? Because first good and trusting relationship, and discipline after, and only on the basis of them.

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