How not to remain extreme

Every woman has girlfriends. Sometimes they fall in love, then I don’t know what to do with unexpected feeling. Why come for advice. And all would be well, if not… legitimate spouse and children. What to do in this case? What advice to give a married friend who managed to meet and fall in love with another?

Как не остаться крайней

In this situation, and specific advice, and categorical denial of assistance would be undesirable extremes, which can lead to a lot of trouble. In the first case, whatever the choice of a friend, she still someone will lose – either the husband or the beloved. This means that she experiences dissatisfaction with what is happening, and the blame will be who? Of course, counselor. If you just refuse to suggest anything, it would look like a betrayal. Left in difficult times, ran away… what does that make you friend? Yes, the situation is difficult, but the exit is still there.

The Council not only to give, but even necessary. The main thing that it was vague, most blurred. You can walk, that is, around the Bush: «Is everything good think, time will tell, no need to rush with the final decision, as far as strong feelings.» And the like. It is important not to use words like «careful», «do» or «fear not» because it is the particular advice. Instead, you should say, «Usually do not hurry, first of all weighed, and then doing it.» This is harmless information about how often do other people, and a friend if desired, can benefit from their experience. The adviser does not even try to avoid it, wash your hands or to escape. It gives the person the opportunity to consider carefully all, to make their own decisions, not taking responsibility for it.

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